Way back in the dark ages a dear friend, Jaci, gave me the subtitle below my yearbook graduation photo. It is difficult to count the number of times in my life since that these words have come to me like prescient wisdom from a loving heart sister. They have sustained me often in difficult situations. These words were "Hope is a risk that must be run".
Once again I sat in the doc's office, soon to finish the current treatment, anxious about the future. I hear his words to stop treatment. I hear his concern that soon nothing will work from their arsenal of weapons against this beast. I know in my heart it is God's blessing that I have enjoyed the last three years of general good health. September 27th is my three year anniversary of ovca diagnosis. A bitter sweet celebration of the date realizing one's immortality and also that every day has been grace from my Father above. I am a survivor at this junctor but wonder for how long. There just isn't a time frame that would be satisfactory.
I swing emotionally from take each day one at a time continueing a stable routine and seeing to each day's trouble to panic over getting everything my heart desires done, realizing dreams and pouring all into my children's hearts I can in the time I have. I hold fast once again to these words knowing "Faith is hope in what one believes but does not yet see".
