Way back in the dark ages a dear friend, Jaci, gave me the subtitle below my yearbook graduation photo. It is difficult to count the number of times in my life since that these words have come to me like prescient wisdom from a loving heart sister. They have sustained me often in difficult situations. These words were "Hope is a risk that must be run".
Once again I sat in the doc's office, soon to finish the current treatment, anxious about the future. I hear his words to stop treatment. I hear his concern that soon nothing will work from their arsenal of weapons against this beast. I know in my heart it is God's blessing that I have enjoyed the last three years of general good health. September 27th is my three year anniversary of ovca diagnosis. A bitter sweet celebration of the date realizing one's immortality and also that every day has been grace from my Father above. I am a survivor at this junctor but wonder for how long. There just isn't a time frame that would be satisfactory.
I swing emotionally from take each day one at a time continueing a stable routine and seeing to each day's trouble to panic over getting everything my heart desires done, realizing dreams and pouring all into my children's hearts I can in the time I have. I hold fast once again to these words knowing "Faith is hope in what one believes but does not yet see".
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My Most Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for peace for this one who doesn't know Your peace right now- she's obviously struggling in many ways to try and understand her future. She's saying the right words but her message speaks loudly of other thoughts. May she find forgiveness where it is needed, peace where there isn't any, and love in places she has forgotten where to look before it is too late. Help those around her to also find that forgiveness, peace and love that only You can give. Father, You have never been the author of confusion or discord. Help this one to seek Your Face and Your Way only. In Your most precious name I ask these things, Amen.
Just some thoughts from a recent book I read from Max Lucado for you to consider:
He Can Heal the Hurt
by Max Lucado
Grudge is one of those words that defines itself. Its very sound betrays its meaning.
Say it slowly: “Grr-uuuud-ge.”
It starts with a growl. “Grr …” Like a bear with bad breath coming out of hibernation or a mangy mongrel defending his bone in an alley. “Grrr …”
Remove a GR from the word grudge and replace it with SL and you have the junk that grudge bearers trudge through. Sludge. Black, thick, ankle-deep resentment that steals the bounce from the step. No joyful skips through the meadows. No healthy hikes up the mountain. Just day after day of walking into the storm, shoulders bent against the wind, and feet dragging through all the muck life has delivered.
Is this the way you are coping with your hurts? Are you allowing your hurts to turn into hates? If so, ask yourself: Is it working? Has your hatred done you any good? Has your resentment brought you any relief, any peace? Has it granted you any joy?
Let’s say you get even. Let’s say you get him back. Let’s say she gets what she deserves. Let’s say your fantasy of fury runs its ferocious course and you return all your pain with interest. Imagine yourself standing over the corpse of the one you have hated. Will you now be free?
Unfaithfulness is wrong. Revenge is bad. But the worst part of all is that, without forgiveness, bitterness is all that is left.
The state of your heart dictates whether you harbor a grudge or give grace, seek self-pity or seek Christ, drink human misery or taste God’s mercy.
No wonder, then, the wise man begs, “Above all else, guard your heart.”
David’s prayer should be ours: “Create in me a pure heart, O God.”
Thinking of you again...
Isn’t it good to know that even when we don’t love with a perfect love, he does? God always nourishes what is right. He always applauds what is right. He has never done wrong, led one person to do wrong, or rejoiced when anyone did wrong. For he is love, and love “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Cor. 13:6 NASB).
God passes the test of 1 Corinthians 13:6. Well, he should; he drafted it.
So where does this leave us? Perhaps with a trio of reminders. When it comes to love:
Be careful.
Until love is stirred, let God’s love be enough for you. There are seasons when God allows us to feel the frailty of human love so we’ll appreciate the strength of his love. Didn’t he do this with David? Saul turned on him. Michal, his wife, betrayed him. Jonathan and Samuel were David’s friends, but they couldn’t follow him into the wilderness. Betrayal and circumstances left David alone. Alone with God. And, as David discovered, God was enough. David wrote these words in a desert: “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.… My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods” (Ps. 63:3, 5 NIV).
I'll send another for the rest of the message...
Here's the rest of Max Lucado's message for you...
Be prayerful.
What if it’s too late? Specifically, what if you’re married to someone you don’t love—or who doesn’t love you? Many choose to leave. That may be the step you take. But if it is, take at least a thousand others first. And bathe every one of those steps in prayer. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. Ask God to help you love as he loves. “God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love” (Rom. 5:5 CEV). Ask everyone you know to pray for you. Your friends. Your family. Your church leaders. Get your name on every prayer list available. And, most of all, pray for and, if possible, with your spouse. Ask the same God who raised the dead to resurrect the embers of your love.
Be grateful.
Be grateful for those who love you. Be grateful for those who have encouraged you to do what is right and applauded when you did. Do you have people like that in your world? If so, you are doubly blessed. Be grateful for them. And be grateful for your Father in heaven.
I was hoping there would be another entry from you today - wondering how you are and still praying for your emotional and spiritual health as well as your physical health. Please give us an update as to your condition. Iris
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