I can relate to this

Leroy Seivers, diagnosed with a brain tumor, told Ed Koppel: 

I'm not a good gardener. I move the trash and things like that. But for the first six or eight months, I bought no clothes because I didn't think I was going to need them. I actually wrote about it on the blog and got a big response. I went out and bought a pair of shoes, which was a big step. In the same way he was talking about planting the perennials. In some way, you're sticking your thumb in the eye of the cancer. But it's a gesture of hope that I'm going to be around long enough to use them.

I know Where he's coming from. I weigh every purchase with its cost effectiveness, especially consumables. I also walk through stores with blinders on so I don't see impulse purchases that would only prolong the internal debate. Then there are other items that I have procrastinated for 'future' buys before, that I am saying "I really want this no matter how much time I have. I want to enjoy this".

Everyone who knows my perennial garden can understand this statement of hope for life. Every winter I have stood at my window waiting for the first peak of growth and color. Now that search has so much more impact on my life perspective. A friend gave me my high school yearbook quote which said "Hope is a risk that must be run". I still live my life by that thought. Hope and faith walk hand in hand.